i don’t get this shit…i can figure the way out but not staying true to my emotions is true. i literally feel myself being different. i know she is not good news and it sucks that we can’t even really hang out like friends. if i step out of the norm she knows, her reaction will be rejection, if i act in sincerity it will be rejection. i know i can’t be honest with this woman without her rejecting me. i feel like she just wants sex, she wants a brute….i am not that.
another woman has this background i lost myself in today. she had me fucking daydreaming. before i had wanted to tell someone, almost anyone i was attracted to that we should go on a hike and make out but with her…… i saw us swimming together nude in a hidden oasis between some ancient mountains of earth. i also thought myself happy, comfortable and smiling. third decade crush
this woman is nice with everyone, perhaps a habitual flirt. dresses well and modest and carries herself in a secure feminine manner that doesn’t shy from approach. she is also from another country and written in a language i don’t know. she is beautiful.
never have i felt a joy and eagerness to be successful in my job as i do now. i literally feel myself being different
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